Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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