yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
