My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
