We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
