This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
