i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
