Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
