dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
