It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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