I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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