I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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