MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
