My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
