Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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