Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
