I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
