Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
