Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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