so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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