Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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