I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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