So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
