Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
