Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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