I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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