Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
