Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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