i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I color on your dick again?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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