Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
