my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm at about main and main street
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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