you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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