So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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