i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
