Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
