After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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