So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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