My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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