Can Purell be used as lube?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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