The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
