he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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