I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
