I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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