these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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