I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
