tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
