i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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