Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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