im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
