She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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