that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
